But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
