You don't have asthma, your pregnant
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
