I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
