its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
