College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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