haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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