I'm gonna have a badass scar
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
