you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
