No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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