Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
