Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park

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(917): View more from New York City

im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night

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(573): View more from Missouri

I had him autograph the condom wrapper.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(

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(310): View more from California

Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)

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