I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
