she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
