If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
