This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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