dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
