Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He shit in the fireplace
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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