4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
