Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
