A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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