Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
