I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So here I am, sexting at work.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
