He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Even my vagina gasped.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
