no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's not a walk of shame if you run
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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