Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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