Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
