so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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