I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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