I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
