Having a random hookup so left but love u
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize