thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
