great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
