You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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