Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
