I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
