I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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