For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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