Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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