Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
