In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize