:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
