I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
