he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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