Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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