I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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