at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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