i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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