that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
All I want is dick and wine.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
