Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
