I am puke
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
