i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
