yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize