woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
