normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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