So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
