every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
