Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
