yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
