He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
