how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
