I got chris browned last night
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
